FLASHBACKS AND REFLECTIONS
THE “WHYISM” OF MY PAST.
Each time the flashback and sway of streams about my the woes I had going through high school, I become frozen by sadness. In fact, I “weep” within my heart anytime I see these young high school students neatly dressed in their uniforms going to school. Not that I didn’t wake to see the sharing high school “pie”.
However, the issue is about the unaswered multitudinal “whyisms” of my inordinate “hatred” and chronic “dislike” for the classroom and school environment. As if possessed by “distress and hopeless”, I saw no need of going to the classroom.
Everyone I knew thought I was industrious, strong-willed, desirous and goal oriented yet the mountains of “fears and phobia” kept crippling me. Ofcourse, I personally wasn’t bad academically and wasn’t too good as well, yet I however was deem as a “brain” by my colleagues but ask them the last time they saw me in school and you will be “quizzed”.
At times when am graced with good times I am seen in school once in a week but when the ‘people’ come then once in two weeks. This isn’t a confession neither a profession of my hidden identity. Sinking in the pool of “chin pounding” puts my mind on the wheels of questions I never had answers to.
The more I try finding solutions to it, the more I had to stay in my tortoise shell to ponder why my fate was turning out so soar? It seems to me that those days and life in high school didn’t enable me to build anything positive and worth emulating for myself.
There were chances I missed miserably, brilliant opportunities that I could have utilised but due to my “ailment” of “dislike and hatred” for school I never had to utilise. So someone would ask, didn’t you get anyone including your parents and teachers to advice you? Dear reader I got millions of people who believed in my abilities and specialities but honestly ‘non’ of them could ever read the omen of these psychological and emotional traumas that I was going through.
One thing I have discovered is that, sometimes not even “mind readers” and professers of pyschology can tell what really are your woes and excruciating moments.
Growing up am still learning my lessons and learning, I am still recalling the past for the better though life doesn’t always pay us in “coins” but sometimes in “notes”.